The 5 Worst Video Game Movies that Offended Me as a Gamer and Movie Buff

It’s a well-known fact that most video game movies are complete crap, but amazingly – and unfortunately – there are some video game movies that sit atop the video game movie crap pile. Following are the 5 worst video game movies – ever.
Doom

I couldn’t think of a more fitting title for this video game movie than the name it was already given; Doom. The original Doom video game is one of the first pioneers of the first-person shooter gaming genre and it’s obvious that the producers of Doom the movie tried to play off of Doom’s place in pop-culture to sell us on a very bad movie. Not only did the producers of Doom do a horrible job of making the Doom movie watchable, they also chose to drag an actor that I rather enjoy, Dwayne Johnson (the Rock) into the crapfest.

Hitman

To be honest, I enjoyed the Hitman movie’s action and fight sequences (well, most of them,) but the horrible story of Hitman was too much for me to bear. Even worse in Hitman’s plot was the fact that they felt the need to give Agent 47 emotions – Agent 47 doesn’t have a conscience; he’s a monster groomed as a child to murder for a living. I’m all for seeing people beat the crap out of each other, but Hitman was a perversion of the Hitman video games.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

When I heard that there was going to be a Final Fantasy movie, I just about crapped my pants with joy – if that’s even possible. I figured that no one could possibly screw up a Final Fantasy movie… after all, every cut scene in any Final Fantasy game has been epic… I mean, it was a sure thing right? Wrong. The concept of Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within was too… how do I put this?… “out there” and “boring.” Most of the elements that made Final Fantasy an awesome game weren’t featured in the Spirits Within and it felt as though the makers of the Spirits Within just stamped the Final Fantasy name onto an average CG Sci-Fi flick.

Super Mario Bros.

The Super Mario Bros. movie is the worst video game adaptation of all-time; hands down. More things were not like the Super Mario Bros. video game in the Super Mario Bros. movie than were. Bowser King of the Koopas was a Caucasian male with too much hair moose, not a lizard, Goombas had shrunken heads, no bricks were busted with heads in this film, and it was overall crap. Worst movie ever.

Anything Street Fighter

There have been several Street Fighter movies and all of them have sucked – horribly [with the exception of Street Fighter II: the Animated Movie]. The original Street Fighter movie was centered on Guile and the Chun-Li movie was focused on… well, Chun-Li. Where are the movies about Ken and Ryu? The Street Fighter movies tried to do what the original Mortal Kombat movie did, but failed horribly and did nothing but piss fans off in doing so.

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